The Beginning: December 26, 2001 - STILL LOOK GOOD

These are things overheard at the drunken disaster that is known as my Grandpa's wedding.

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AUNT PATTY (to my dad): Should I divorce him now or wait a year?

DAD: Whatever.


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UNCLE MARTY (about Gramps): Maybe I ruined his life, but hell, he ruined mine, too.


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BILLIE DUNN (our new "cousin"): He wants us to call him "Gramps". We're not so sure about that...

SHEILA: Just call him dog. We do. (he signs things DOG for Dear Old Gramps)


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MEGAN DUNN (new cousin): Did your aunt have to work?

SHEILA: No. She didn't want to come.


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DAD: They're going on their honeymoon in Hawaii?

STAFF: Yeah. And he has a girlfriend there, you know.


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AUNT PATTY: All I'm saying is that if you fall in love with two people, it's just as easy to fall in love with the one that will take care of you over the loser.

MARTY (her husband): Yeah, but what if you fall in love with three people?


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MOM (buying drinks for minors): I've got good news- there are four more drinks coming!


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DOG (to entire Dunn family on X-Mas): I know what you all are probably thinking, and let me just say the answer is that we CAN and we DO.


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BRENNA (her first time drinking): Aunt Patty, is the room spinning?

A. PATTY: Yes.


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BRENNA (after falling off the bed, face first into the floor, picking herself up and looking in the mirror): Damn! And I STILL look good.


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SHEILA (the morning after): Kelly, don't make me laugh. My mom said she doesn't even want to see me smile today.