March 7, 2002 - Kleenex and Microwave

JONNY: If it weren't for masturbation, I don't know where I would be today.

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KELL: Well, I suppose you don't have a ghetto in Bemiji.

BEN LEWIS: Yes we do. We have a terrible ghetto in Bemiji. It's this one slightly run down house. There's a rumor that someone did crack there once, so we call it a crackhouse.

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BRE: So, did you kiss yet?

KELL: Yes

BRE: Did you make out yet?

KELL: Yes.

BRE (long pause): Did you have sex?

KELL: NO! Brenna!

BRE: Yeah, whatever.

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KELL: It's been so weird. I'm sleeping normal hours this week. I got 12 hours of sleep last night. I went to bed at 8 and got up at 9.

CARLOS: I don't know how they're keeping time over in your room, but in mine that would be 13.

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EM: See what happens when you actually put energy into something? You sleep!

KELL: I've put energy into things before!

EM: Watching "Sisters" doesn't count.

KELL: Oh.

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CARLOS: Do you have any plates?

KATIE O: No, but I do have kleenex and a microwave.

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JONNY: How come when you get married you can't marry more than one person?

NITA: Because I think that's bigamy.