STUDENT: teacher, do you go on myspace?
KELLY: Sometimes.
STUDENT: Do you go on the school computer?
KELLY: No. It's blocked.
STUDENT: You know, there are ways to get around that.
KELLY: Yes, but I have better things to do while I'm at school.
*pause*
STUDENT: Then teacher, how do you know it's blocked?
*pause*
KELLY: Touche.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STUDENT: I wanna get home-schooled.
KELLY: Who's going to home-school you?
STUDENT: My great-grandma.
OTHER STUDENT: What's she gonna teach you- how to get old?

**********************************************************************

KELLY: We have an arboretum behind our house.
MARVIN: What's that?
KELLY: Woods.
MARVIN: Just say "woods" then. I'm black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(at stevie wonder concert. bob marley comes on over loud speaker before the show)

MOM: This is the next concert I'll have to go to.
*kelly stares silently*
MOM: Oh. Wait. Shut up.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(katy's talking about how one of kelly's worst qualities is a poor first impression)

KATY: But those same things that make people go "whoa" at first are why your friends love you later on.
KELLY: Well that just SUCKS because I don't know what to do about it!
KATY: Meet everybody twice.

**********************************************************************

(dad and bron are sitting out back smoking and talking about bron's yoga studio he's opening)
DAD: So Bron, why yoga?
BRON: I find it compliments my smoking. It's all about balance for me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MATT: Alison said you were drinking and smoking up a storm last night.
KELLY: Was she embarrassed to know me?
MATT: No... well not any more than usual.

---------------------------------------------------------

(long, boring grad class)

PROF: Did I tell you about the parent involvement study?
*class is blank or shakes head no*
PROF: Well first you need to define "parent involvement."
*someone behind me mutters*
PROF: Did I hear someone add something?
TINSEY: Tawanna said, "oh yeah you did say this before."