Ugly Switch

GIRL STUDENT: Someone once told me I had an "ugly switch."
BOY STUDENT: "Someone" was trying to tell you the truth.

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JAY: I told her to look out, cuz God hates ugly.

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JAY: Every time I watch one of those crazy Lifetime movies I'm like, "That's so Sarah."

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MOM (via email, mad because I forgot to email her back): I hope you have a child like yourself.

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LETTA: He came in like, "I know how to put a smile on your face," and I said, "Really? What bills you gonna pay?"

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KELLY: Oh, I don't like that picture. My arms look fat.
LETTA: Come on now! You knew what they was when you left the house!

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KELLY: Was she big?
KATEV: She was like a wall. A wall of woman.

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KELLY: Your guys always have a "handle." What's this guy's handle?
MEARA: We'll call him homonym boy. He's always mixing up his homonyms.
MAGGY: Like what?
MEARA: Well, like to/too, there/their, your/you're. The worst though (cringes) is "no."
MAGGY: What- like "I don't NO you"?
MEARA: Worse. The other way around.
MAGGY: Like "hell know"?!
MEARA: Yup.
MAGGY: HELL KNOW!