Whoa. Wow.

ALISON: If you ever announce your pregnancy on facebook before telling me, I'll cut you. Just sayin...

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(text message)JOHN: Is wow pronounced wau or wo.
KELLY: Are you high?
JOHN: Yes. How did you know?
KELLY: Because I know. No one asks how wow is pronounced unless they are foreign or high.

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(Kate's fam is talking about how busses seem to be following Addy everywhere)
NEPHEW (age 10): It's a Christmas Stalking!

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(I'm talking about the negative effects of sun, like sunstroke and how I am easily burned)
STUDENT: I am SO glad I'm not white.

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(Mom is watching Ted Kennedy's funeral)
DAD: Ah, the rich and beautiful.
MOM: You're just jealous cuz you're poor and ugly.

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(student is in trouble. Angry dad comes in)

STUDENT: I was trying to do my work but...
DAD: Shut. UP. You got enough excuses to be in Congress.

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SUSAN: That was night Jenny's husband asked if bangs were genetic.

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(about Chaz Bono)
MARY:I've always said I could deal with it if my son were gay. But to get so fat? No.

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