(Marquan's crawling all over our new teacher and rubbing her body)

KELLY: M, please stop touching Ms. S. People don't like it when you touch them without permission.
M.E. (to Ms. S): May I please touch on your body?

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(I'm singing to Jackson Browne after school)

NR: Ms. R. MS. R!!
KELLY: What?
NR: Why you always singing this white people music?

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D (sixth grader, to my naughty little ones): You better watch out and not get sent to middle school cuz I'm telling y'all: it's a rough life up there.

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(in class)
JULIA (the instructor): I mean, you can at least pair students together, right? That's only two students!
SCOT: Yeah, but that's like pairing Hitler and Mousselini.