Not a Normal Human

ANNOYING STUDENT: I need help!!!
MARY: Should I call Dr. Phil?

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MARY: I don't like tall guys. I like men my height so in bed things.... line up.

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KELLY: I like the campfire smell.
ANGELA: That smell don't go with nothing I own.
KELLY: It's a good test for the men.
ANGELA: How's that.
KELLY: It weeds out the pussies.

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DAVE: Did you know there was an article in the Journal about him? It was called, "Common Council Candidate Not A Normal Human."

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(An email to my dad, the principal, from a teacher)

Eric, This sounds stupid, but can you please speak with [Mr] K. about not punching flour babies? Apparently he punched Clayton U's baby putting a 6 inch rip in the side. Thanks.

MN