AMY: Anna was still making drunk phone calls on Saturday morning...at like 11.
*****************************************

(v-ball coach is annoying dad at tournament)
COACH: I just have one more thing...
AMY (loud enough so only I can hear): fuck off, loser.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(at US Cellular this guy is buying like a $60 plan)

GUY (to me and mom): Popeye's don't even know what they be payin for!
KELLY: How's that?
GUY: McDonald's pays the bills but Popeye's only gives me a few hours and so I can just pay for the phone with that. They don't even know they payin for it!

--------------------------------------------------

(flipping to superbowl commercials)
MOM: So are we supposed to like watch these or what?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(mom and dad stumble in from the "Lancer Leap"- a formal dance. Mom still has her wine glass...with wine in it)
KELLY: You brought your wine glass home with you?
MOM: Well you should have seen dad. He was dancing with everybody. He told me I wasn't coordinated but that Bonnie Elliot- SHE'S coordinated! So I said "fuck it I'm taking my wine glass home."