(Brenna's on her last stop on her tour of the beaches of Brazil)
MOM: We tried to teach you money management. You and 26-dollar-Brenna.
KELLY: Why are you calling her that?
MOM: She's in Rio now with $26.

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MOM: Out of all of you you (Kelly) had the best confirmation preparation.
KELLY: Yeah and look how that turned out. I'm like the poster child for Catholicism.
MOM: Well, you never know. Maybe someday you'll come back to the church.
AMY: Oh god.

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CHICK1: I'm in this class I really like: race and politics. It's really fun. This one girl didn't know what layaway was.
CHICK2: My middle NAME was layaway.

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ED PROF: I don't really care what kids want to learn about. If I brought the topic of budget caps to them and they had any choice we'd be discussing marijuana legalization from now until eternity.

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MOM: It's Catholic-frickin'-Schools Week