Fourth of July

JOHN: Do you have a lighter or should I just start rubbing two sticks together?

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(mike d, a friend of megan's that drove our drunk asses to club five like a year and a half ago walks by)

JOHN: That's Mike D!
(kelly throws a snap at him. Mike D looks around bewildered and keeps walking)
KELLY: He's my facebook friend!
JOHN (yelling): sorry about the big mac in the back seat of your car!! (to himself) Talk about burnt bridges...

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PETER (drunk guy I threw a snap at and then harassed me the rest of the night): What are you drinking? A goblet of shit?
KELLY: (scoffs)
JOHN: Okay, the goblet comment was funny.

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PETER (to me after I stand up and tell him to come at me): You seem athletic- I'm scared!

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KELLY: Where are you from?
DUDE: Prarie Du Chien.
JOHN: Prarie Douche-ing?

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KELLY (at the end of a long rambling message to Karen E): Um, by the way, I'm not drunk right now I'm just really bad at leaving messages.



above: after two hours of harassing me, Peter starts to sober up and apologizes. On the table you can see the alleged goblet.