(student is making fun of Mr.C)
Mr.C: Whoa whoa whoa! How you gonna dip in my coolaide when you don't even know the flavor?

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NR: Ms. R, what's that thing they put my uncle in? A coffin?
KELLY: Yes.
TO: What's that?
NR: That a refrigerator so my uncle don't get stinky.

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Mr.C: You don't even wear your wedding ring!
Mr.B: Yes I do! I wear it all the time!
Mr. C: You got it on now?
Mr.B: Well...no.

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(about an 8th grader he hates)
JOHN: And she was like "I wish you would shut up!" and I was like "I wish you would get a complete hairstyle."

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(about my school's christmas program)
KELLY: I've never seen so many untalented people in one room.

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(about his favorite bar)
Mr.B: I don't think I can go back there anymore.
KELLY: Why?
Mr.B: Now that my wife's been there it's like contaminated.

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KELLY:...so now I'm driving around without a hubcap.
Mr.C: Welcome to the hood.