April 19, 2002 - AND WHY WOULDN'T I?

MOM: What are you going to do when you don't have these girls to coach any more?

DAD (after 3 brandy old-fashioneds) : I'll start the next generation. Take Kelly down to the shell and breed her with a big black man.

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MOM: You know, I was reading about this thing in New Jersey the other day. They had "family day" and the whole town shut down and spent time with their families.

UNCLE KEVIN: How'd that turn out?

UNCLE MARTY: The homocide rate went through the roof. (like a headline) "Cops say not enough staff for another family night".

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MARY ELLEN (DOG's wife) : Oh! Look at your glow! Did you get some sun!

MOM: No, I think I'm having a hot flash right now.

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MOM: My butt has gotten so big. Do you guys know of any diets?

KITTY (mom's friend) : Well at least your ass hasn't fallen yet. When I'm in my bathing suit I want tape to get my ass back up.

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DELIRIOUS: I miss nighttime games.

CARLOS: Like "kick the can"?

D: Well, there was a lot of nudity in our games.

C: So like, "kick the dildo"?

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DELIRIOUS: I met this "Brother Dan" on State St. I feel like I have to do "damage control" with Christians.

KELL: Like what?

D: Like, "Don't the the gays they suck"

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KELL: The only thing she talks about more than her big room in Liz Waters is her small room here and Jesus.

DELIRIOUS: Oh man, you gotta wright that down.

K: I can't write that down. Then it will look like I find myself hilarious.

D: Just write that line and then after it write that I said "write that down"

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KELL: My sister is getting calls from boys all the time. Now she likes this sophomore.

EM: Uh oh. Does he have a car?

K: I don't know.

EM (very seriously) : Has she been to Sears?

reference to effie. see: http://robinhoney.diaryland.com/corey.html
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(in film production class)

RACHEL: This girl passed out in my lecture in Science Hall.

Peach: Did she have heat stroke?

R: That or anorexia...

KATE: It's pretty much a crapshoot at this University...

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BRENNA: Amy's crying over Listerine strips.

KELL: Did you take them?

BRE: Yeah!

AMY (picking up the other phone) : BITCH!

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KELL: Is he cute?

BRENNA: I think so. He's preppy and I like preppy guys. I think it's because I went to Queen of Peace. But my friends...I don't know about them. They are all dating the black guys, and I like them cuz they're funny, but I mean, all they want is booty.

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BRENNA: This girl in my ceramics class is in that thing on the news, Big Brothers/Big Sisters- she's a piece of work.

KELL: Is she the big sister?

B: No, she's the needy one. I was trying to be nice to her, so I asked her how her weekend was and she was like, "Well, this is my first time coming out, but I found out I'm bisexual and I made out with my girlfriend all weekend."

K: What did you say?

B: I said, "Oh. That's nice. I just watched tv."