(names have been changed to protect the possibly gay)
BRON: So, Chris-is the closet he's stuck in locked shut or is he just really far in there?

**********************************

BRON: She doesn't like to brush her teeth because it's too much like fallatio.

-------------------------------

(way hungover)
KELLY: AHHH! I need a....blanket.
MEL: Oh, I thought you were going to say you needed an intervention.
KELLY: That too.

*************************

(brenna and my dad are trying to figure out if a medium and a small pizza equal more pizza than a large)

DAD: You have to do pi r squared.
BRENNA: Pi r squared?
(Later)
KELLY: Matt and Courtney are getting their PhDs in math education.
BRENNA: Oh, so they know about the Pi r squared thing.

------------------------------------

KELLY: Well, the coolest guy in the 8th grade asked me out.
BRON: Did you guys have a good time?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

JOHN: Did you tell him your ovaries were not on the negotiating block?