(lamenting about current men)
JOHN: We should date prison inmates. Black and muscular: plus. Lots of extra time to think about you and write you letters: plus. You always know where they are, meaning very few trust issues...

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KELLY: Should I call him?
JOHN: Yes.
KELLY: What should I say?
JOHN: I don't know, "Why don't you like me? What's wrong with me that you don't like me? I love you- why don't you love me?"
KELLY: Is that what you say?
JOHN: No, I just journal and wait for them to call me.

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ANONOMOUS: This lady behind me at the grocery store was like, "my- someone has a sweet tooth!" And I was just like, "Well, it was a rough day" but really I wanted to say "I'm planning to smoke pot and eat a lot."

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KELLY: What are you doing tonight?
ANONOMOUS: I'm probably just going to smoke some pot, watch a few World War II documentaries while eating ice cream and if all goes according to plan I'll be passed out by 8:30 or 9 so I can wake up well rested tomorrow.