January 2005 - nonemerg

Alright,gronliville has been on hiatus for quite some time but I think it's about time to bring it back since I have had these little slips of paper in my purse for over a year.... Clearly Chrissy is the star this time around


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(@ the CK)

Kelly: That guy loitered.
Chrissy: How could he loiter?
Kelly: He just threw shit!
Chrissy: That's not loiter- that's LITTER!
Kelly: Shit- and I'm not even drunk yet.

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(at Luther's Blues where we were the youngest people by 25 years)

Chrissy: I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. We Just got yelled at by old people for trying to get closer to the stage and now they are doing the hippity-dippity behind us.

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Shmollin: I'm sympathetic to the pudge but come on- you have to know what you can wear.

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(this one is really old)

Alison's title for my memoirs: From Pinache to Trash: How I ended up puking on the side of I-94 and other stories.

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Chrissy (referring to the above): Oh my god that's so my life except we had already gotten onto 35.

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Suds (quasi-resident): I'll go through my top 5 hated list:
1) Alf.
2) Valour tracksuits- if in purple, double.
3)any MTV idol under the age of 18 (Hillary Duff)
4)no but I really hate Alf.
5) the OC cuz it's like spending an hour in Hollister.

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Kathy (I have no idea who Kathy is): Wait- I better not drink your drink. I'm sick.
John: It's okay. I have protective antibodies circulating through my body.

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(drunk chrissy making some phone calls)

Chrissy: I'm calling the writing center.
kelly: what the fuck?
dan: who drunk dials the writing center?
Chrissy: shhhh. i'm leaving a message: "Marcus, I need a writing appointment, stat."
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(same night)
Chrissy: What is this "nonemerg"? All year this has been in my phone and I never know what it is. I'm calling them! (dials...listens...gets really scared and hangs up. then whispers) It's the police!
Kelly: that would be the nonemergency police number they give us. nice Chris.

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Chrissy: Do you know what I know about that guy with the red hat?
Kelly: What?
Chrissy: He's a 'publi (republican). Wanna know what I know about that guy in the muscle shirt?
Kelly: What?
Chrissy: HE WEARS A MUSCLE SHIRT!

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Tim G: Sometimes I would ike to break through the 6 inches between us and be on Kelly.

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Chrissy: sometimes I just need someone to be vehement with me.
Kelly: I WAS!!
Chrissy: You don't count. I don't take you seriously.

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Kelly: I'm just nervous about this exam. The last one was so confusing. Like some questions I knew cold, but others I was like "WHAT?"
KERRI (res): Well (laughing) I thought it was okay. I did all the readings so it made sense to me.
Kelly: touche.

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(the fire alarm in someone's room went off at 6:30 am)
Kelly: What happened?
CAITLIN (res): Well, I couldn't get the toast out with a fork, so I just decided to put it back down and put more in.
Kelly(totally serious because I was tired): That was like a final exam for your life....and you failed.

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MOM: I called the school nurse to ask her about Brenna's cough (which she thought was whooping cough) and she notified the health department.
DAD: Now why would you do that?
MOM: Well, I didn't know she would tell anyone.
DAD: That's like calling social services and saying "I'm beating my child. What do you think about that?"

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Shmollin(leans in like she has a huge secret): To be honest with you, I don't know what I would do without my breasts.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ME: I think the 49% of us should just secede from the union.
JOHN: Didn't they try to do that before and it didn't really work out?
ME: Yeah, but I think we needed the south back then.
JOHN: yeah, for like cotton or something. Now it's just like an insect infested swamp.

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JESS (res): Did you hear what they found in Saddam's fridge? 7-UP, poptarts and candybars!
DREA (res): Oh my God he could be my soulmate!

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message from john:
"Please- I'm sooo lonely...stop sleeping. (moans for a long time). Ahhh, there's like no one on my floor and....it's cold outside....and like the world is like slowly shriveling up and dying as the leaves turn brown...and so is my soul...so please....let's...go to Ed's...and laugh. Goodbye."

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Maggie (res): Kelly, I don't smoke pot as often as you think.
Kelly: you told me you smoke every day!
Maggie: That's not that often!!

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Chrissy (about Veridian Homes commercial): I want that house.
Kelly: Me too.
Chrissy: I want that man.
Kelly: I don't.
Chrissy: Since when are you picky?

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Kelly: John's really into this personality test where you're either "earth", "water", "air" or "fire". I'm "fire".
Jane: Oh yeah, me too.
Kelly: Kevin O is "air".
JANE: Funny, I thought he'd be "phlem"

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Tim G: Can I borrow some shampoo? I lost mine.
KELLY: How do you lose shampoo?
Tim: I don't know...I lost it like some time in the middle of last semester.
K: Have you been going without shampoo for months now?
Tim: oh. I always do that.

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KELL (to tim): You are such a hippy.
MAGGIE: Yeah look at him representing the tye-dye.
KELL: Yeah and he won't change it for like 7 days.
TIM (serious): No, I ran out of deoderant so I have to change my shirt like every three days.

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ME: So, I found out like an hour ago that I have an exam tomorrow morning.
SUDs: So much for turning over a new leaf, huh? More like pounding the old one further into the ground.

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(message my mom left when Audrey Sieler was missing)
"Hi, Kelly. We are all really glad that they found that girl. Dad thinks the guy is at Uncle Jim's. He's over there right now. Bye."

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Kelly's away message: totally beat. Thank God it's finally spring break! To celebrate I shall nap.
Jason M: i don't think it's called a nap when you're asleep for 3 hours. i think it's called "sleeping"

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MOM: I saw a preview and she (Barbra Streisand) said that her mother always told other people how great she was but never told her.
ME: Yeah. She has mother issues.
MOM: Yeah, well, so do you.

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MAGGIE (saying why alcohol is worse than pot): The thing I don't get is, when I'm stoned, what's the WORST thing I will do? Sit? On a couch? and watch tv?

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Kelly: Dad, Amy doesn't think she's an introvert.
AMY: I'm not!
Kelly: Yes, you totally are.
MOM: Amy, it's not a bad thing.
BRENNA: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't even know what "introvert" is.

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Kelly's away message: the excitement in witte is like christmas morning. it's move in, baby.
Matt: i hope you can see what your job has turned you into

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(My away message)
KEVIN: Freshmen are not out to have a good time. They are out to get drunk. When they go out they have no time to do anything but drink, and every once in a while they stop drinking to scream, but then it's right back to drinking.
Chrissy: haha that's true, but i wouldnt limit it to just freshman, you and i are both seniors and i believe we've done a fair share of drinking and screaming in our recent days

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drea: hey kel...guess who was on the front page of the badger herald yesterday??
drea: yes, your friend and mine....kevin o...i threw up when i saw it.

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my away message: tired. prolly sleeping....again. this is why i don't get shit done on the weekends.
Chrissy: rest from what? sleeping? you didnt do shiz today

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DREA: I went to my class that was called AAE, applied agriculture and engineering, and Carissa was there! And she was like "I couldn't find the books anywhere!" and I was like "well, what section were you looking in?" and she says "African American Studies." Turns out she thought that AAE stood for "African American Internet" and I was like "internet starts with 'i.'" and she was like "well I know that but you have to click on the 'e' to get it!"

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DAN: African American Internet studies? Black people ain't even online yet!