SCOT: I HATE the name "Kaitlyn." I just hate it. I can handle Laquita, Shamiqua, Shaniqua, Placenta...whatever. Just not Kaitlyn.

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SCOT: How many of your kids' names end with "-ta"?

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KELLY: Yeah, well not much has changed since our parent meeting.
MARY: Of course not. Mom's too busy breastfeeding.

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KELLY: I'm so in love with this guy at my Y. And guess what his name is?
SCOT: Oh God, is it anything I can even pronounce?

SECRETARIES: (sing- "We Wish You A Merry Christmas")Please be sure to give your parents all of the joy and happiness you've given us these last few months.