Tuesday, September 16, 2008

the banana peel

MARY: You should see this mother. She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.

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JALONNA: ...and how's someone gonna be like, "I hear you were in BB's office eating oatmeal this morning"? Damn, you gotta get all up in my BOWL and talk about it?

--

J's friend: Who's G--?
JALONNA: The one who be wearin summer shit all winter.
J's friend: Who's J--?
JALONNA: The one who be wearin after-five shit to work.
KELLY: That's TERRIBLE!
JALONNA: Please. Tell me you didn't see her in that tube top and want to just cry.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Smokin the doobie and takin the long way

KELLY: I don't think he's as cool as I thought he was...
JOHN: His name is Supreme, Kelly. Don't date anyone named after Taco Bell items.

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KELLY: ...and his kids were there...
MAGGY: What are his kids named? Nacho? (laughs at herself for a minute and a half) Softshell-Taco?

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SHAKIR: You suck at everything in life. Except having freckles- you're good at having freckles.

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MOM: She said her son's hobby is going to different places around town and finding alternate ways to get there.
KELLY: He must like pot.
DAD: Oh yeah, I've been there. He's smokin the doobie and takin the long way.

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KELLY: Are you sure it's okay if we drink these?
AMY: Sure. Jayme knows them.
KELLY: Jayme, are these friends of yours? Who are these people?
JAYME: The old people!

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(kelly snuggles next to brenna and says "oar" which is this thing she says when she's snuggly)

KELLY: Oh, OAR!
BRENNA: Shhh!
KELLY: Does Kasey know about "oar?"
B: No.
KASEY: Yes I do. One time she was like, "oar" and I was like, "what?" and she said, "oh, that's what I say when I'm getting comfortable."

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ALECIA: You're gay.
KIM: I'm not! I'm just saying that if Maggie was a dude (claps hands) I'd holla.

(days later)

KATY: Yeah, Maggy wouldn't stop talking about that at family dinner. I really wish you wouldn't have told her that.

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(person I don't like is talking. I'm listening, but inadvertently making a terrible face while I'm staring at her.)

JALONNA: (taking a drink of water) FIX YOUR FACE!