That Ugly Achievement Gap Again

KELLY: Ramon just called me and asked me to help him because he downloaded porn off of limewire and can't figure out how to play it.
JOHN: There's that achievement gap again.

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CURRENT EVENTS:

(discussing the government budget)
KELLY: What would you cut and what would you put more money into?
WILLIAM: What would YOU put more money into?
KELLY: Well, guess...
WILLIAM: Twinkies!

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(discussing a theory that says the happiest people are those that can clear their minds)
STUDENT: Well, I would say that's true because my mom does yoga to clear her mind and it makes her happy.
MARC: And it tastes good!
WILLIAM: That's yo-GURT!

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