MEL: I love how we sat here and complained about the service and then we were like "oh and SHBLAAM! Here's my NPR Discount Card!"

___________________________________________________________________

KELLY: I was in Madison last weekend. Yeah, I decided to take my depression on the road.

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JOHN: In all the pictures you showed me of Amy she looked kind of nerdy, but she sure turned into one hot mama.

(Kristin is talking about how she's going to hide the fact that she lives with her fiance when her mom comes next week)
TRUDY: I don't know, maybe it's just me, but if it was me I would be like "what, do you think I was born in a cabbage patch?"

(easter breakfast)
AMY: Nine years is a really big age gap.
KELLY: Well, we're seven years apart and we're (crosses fingers) thick as thieves.
DAD: Yeah, that's why she turned to me during church and said "she is such a bitch."

(after a really boring presentation about teen pregnancy stats)

PRESENTER: Okay, now we have our break-out sessions.
PATRICE: Shit, I'm broke out.

***************************************************

KELLY: I think I was an okay House Fellow my first year... not so much my second.
JOHN: Yeah, it's pretty much been a downward slope since I started. Like each day I'm worse. Every day I'm the worst House Fellow of my life.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(about tfa)

JOHN: I know one thing that really worried me was the lesson plans part. After I did my five-minute lesson plan I was just kind of like "that might be it. That's all I got."

*****************************************************

KELLY: Is this the Kelly that when I called your cell phone you thought it was her?
PATRICE: No. Actually, the person I thought you were was Kadeesia and her LAST name is Kelly. I just entered her as "Kelly" cuz...you know...I couldn't spell Kadeesia.

(kelly's coping with waiting another week to hear from TFA)
JOHN: We should write a book. "TFA Drove us Insane and Ruined Our Lives."
KELLY: Haha. Seriously.
JOHN: Elizabeth Wurtzel-style.
KELLY: LOLOLOL
JOHN: A self-decadent co-written memoir.

This is an old one...

KELLY: Jessie, you never look rough around the edges. You always look just top drawer. You probably don't have the same kind of nights that I do, though...
JARED: It's not just a walk- more like a marathon- of shame.

KELLY: Look at that old guy just wandering around (at dotties)
JOHN(with a wisconsin accent): "OH, look at all the knicknacks!"

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KELLY (after tfa interview all day looks down to see the clasp on pants came undone and just folds the flaps over): I'm too tired to button my pants.

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DREA: Do I have a story for YOU! I was just in the bathroom and the girl in the stall next to me farted SO LOUD and when she came out we were all just like waiting for her like "AWWW shiiit!"

**********************************************************************

DREA: I cannot talk to my dad on the phone. If I try to tell him anything he'll be like "okay-okay-okay I'll get your mom!"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(after spending time with former residents at a bar and the last one leaves)

JOHN: So, did you want to go back to witte and fill out an activity report?

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(11th of 15 voicemails John left from the Church Key)
JOHN: We're out of popcorn.

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(I run into Jessica McV, one of my favorite friends that I don't see nearly enough because of the stupid army)

KELLY: I can't believe I ran into you!!
JOHN (monotone/accusatory): Who are you? I've never heard about you. Kelly's never mentioned you.