KELLY: It's not really a party unless someone in our family gets drunk and confronts another person about their excessive drinking.

_____________________________

(it was kate's younger sister's college grad party)

KATE: ...and she asked me if I was getting excited for college and I was like, "Wow. She's confused about many things."

C.P.: I was just trying to help!!
MRS. M: I need your help like I need cancer.

(Dan is Maggy's BF)

KELLY: God. My mom would just be ecstatic if I brought Dan home.
MAGGY: Cuz he's cute and nice?
KELLY: Yup.
MAGGY: And white.

****************************************

YVETTE: I fart. I'm the gas master.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

REMY: What's the difference between Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic?
LAURA: They're two different countries.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(talking about this ugly guy)
ALECIA: I have a thing about teeth.
BRADINA: I have a thing about faces.

**************************************

BRENNA: And we were doing this dancing... it's called "bar-esque"
KELLY: BURLESQUE?
BRENNA: Oh...yeah. That.

_________________________________________

(Amy comes out in a leather vest with fur lining)

DAD: How many wolves had to die for that outfit?

**********************************************
(about George W moving back to Texas)

CHRISTIAN: He's the one guy everybody's available to help move.
KELLY: Droves of people show up like, "Can I take a box, lamp, SOMETHING? Let's get a move on!"

MS. M: You know what, [student]? God helps those that helps themselves! And I'm not even religious!

(my old teaching cohort is discussing some of the slang and sex terms we have learned from our students)
ALISON: Sarah- you're late! You missed all of Scot's sex talk.
ERIC: We'll just have to show you "snowballing."

ALICIA: This guy is like the Middle-Eastern Justin Timberlake.
BRIAN: Amir Timberlake: He's bringin Islam back.