Kramer's Cottage

(I was taking an herb called "Calm Dragon")
UNCLE MARTY: And how long have you been on the doggy downers?

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MARTY: He'll figure it out. He IS gifted.
PATTY: Shh. We're not supposed to talk about that.
MARTY: Well you shouldn't have told me on margarita day.

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(playing "Never Have I Ever" or "Ten Fingers")
KATE: Never have I ever thought animals in costume were cute.
(Kate claps, meaning she has)
KELLY: Tell the story!
SHEILA: When did you think that was cute?
(Kate stares in disbelief)
KATE: When's it NOT cute?

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JARED: Never have I ever watched Sex and the City while eating ice cream.
(kate and kelly keep clapping)

-- later I tell brenna--

BRE (to Jared, in disbelief): How did you know about that?

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KELLY: This game is boring.
SHEILA: Spice it up.
KELLY: I DID spice it up and everyone was like...
SHEILA: TOO SPICY!!

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(after playing several rounds of "king of the raft" Kate gets injured and is crying on the way back to the pier. It's silent.)
SHEILA: Best game EVER!

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(sheila injurs her boyfriend's face with the jet ski and then hits him with a frisbee)

KATE: You'd think the kid would take a hint.

From Europe

(changing pants on the train)
ALEX: Do you want me to stand in front of you?
KELLY: No...I'll just do it in the bathroom.
ALEX: That's what she said.

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(tray on train)
ERIKA: I can't get it up.
ALEX: That's what she said.

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(after several days of LOTS of eating)

ALEX: Should I put nutella in my capaccino?
KELLY: Sure. Why not? You only live once.
ALEX: Half that if you keep eating ten slices of pizza and cheese fondue.

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(woman's child cries for the entirety of a 3 hour plane ride)
DUDE GETTING OFF PLANE: That lady is NOT getting a Christmas card from me.
CHICK: That makes two of us.

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KELLY: Did you bring a CD player or anything?
ERIKA: No, I'm not very tech saavy. I don't even own an ipod. It's okay- I have the songs that play in my head and the voices that talk to me.

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(at the airport food court)

DUDE: Mom. I'm at the hotel....YES!....We're sitting here in the hotel.....yes...Scott, tell her we're at the hotel.
(puts phone up to scott)
SCOTT (presumeably): We're at the hotel.
DUDE: SEE? I told you! We're at the hotel.