(student is making fun of Mr.C)
Mr.C: Whoa whoa whoa! How you gonna dip in my coolaide when you don't even know the flavor?

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NR: Ms. R, what's that thing they put my uncle in? A coffin?
KELLY: Yes.
TO: What's that?
NR: That a refrigerator so my uncle don't get stinky.

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Mr.C: You don't even wear your wedding ring!
Mr.B: Yes I do! I wear it all the time!
Mr. C: You got it on now?
Mr.B: Well...no.

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(about an 8th grader he hates)
JOHN: And she was like "I wish you would shut up!" and I was like "I wish you would get a complete hairstyle."

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(about my school's christmas program)
KELLY: I've never seen so many untalented people in one room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(about his favorite bar)
Mr.B: I don't think I can go back there anymore.
KELLY: Why?
Mr.B: Now that my wife's been there it's like contaminated.

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KELLY:...so now I'm driving around without a hubcap.
Mr.C: Welcome to the hood.

(lost on the way to lake geneva)
MARLON: Hey Navigator, were we supposed to take that exit?
KELLY: Oh gosh...um I don't know. Was that Highway 12?
MARLON: Do me a favor and don't talk to me when we get to Lake Geneva.

__________________________________________________

(on my poor navigating)
MARLON: Now I see why your kids can't read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(after calling Mary 3 times for directions)
MARY: I had no idea you guys were taking the short bus to Lake Geneva.

*****************************************************

(in Mukwanago)
MARLON: Will you just get out of the car and ask them for directions!
KELLY: Why can't you do it?
MARLON: They don't have people like me in Mukwanago. Just go in there and tell them your black driver doesn't know where he's going.

*****************************************************

(after passing a light display of the 12 days of christmas where I was able to name ALL 12 days)
KELLY: Aren't you impressed that I knew all 12 days of Christmas?
MARLON: No. You're white. It's in your DNA to know that.

********************************************************

(after a wild night in lake geneva)
MONIQUE: Marlon says he's not going to the Christmas party cus he needs to be away from people for awhile.
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Ms. Q: Did you drive on your own?
KELLY: No. I rode up there with Marlon.
MS. Q: Who's Marlon?
KELLY: Culpepper.
MS. Q: His name's Marlon? I thought his name was Bryan.
KELLY: Nope. It's Marlon.
MS. Q: I can't believe that. He worked in my room all year last year and I called him Bryan. He never said anything! Like, "my name's not Bryan." (pause) I just called him Bryan yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Ms. F is showing me a picture of her ex-husband's new fiance that he left on his phone)
KELLY: God. What is she 12?
Ms. F: Something like that. I don't know- she lives in Florida.
KELLY: How'd they meet?
Ms. F: The internet. He got her on ebay or something.

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COURT: Dammit. I forgot to order those cards.
ALISON: What?
MATT: Courtney buys Planned Parenthood cards every year and never sends them. She forgot to buy them.

KELLY: What are you up to this weekend?
MR.VEESY: Doin what all brothers do.
KELLY (laughing): What's that?
MR.VEESY: Lookin for women.

******************************************

(Ms.Liberty has a new man in her life)
COLEPEPPER: I didn't know you had a date!
MS.LIBERTY: I see him every Sunday.
KELLY: Sunday's God's day.
MS.LIBERTY: Well it's his day too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KELLY: What's up with you? You look mischievious.
MR. VEESY: Naw. I'm just a regular brother. A regular brother with regular ideas.

JOHN (about his soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend): The first week was like "this is great." The second week was like "okay, we're getting to know each other." The third week was like "I'm having a few doubts," and the fourth week was "get out of my apartment."

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MR. CUNNINGHAM (to martarius): You've got too nice of braids to be acting like this!

***********************************************

KELLY: Yeah, did you hear this? Cunningham gave everyone that got a 4.0 50 bucks!
ROB (6th grader): Yeah, what a waste of 250 dollars.

************************************************

KELLY: Hey Mr. Cunningham, nice vest. Look Nakyia, Mr. Cunningham has a vest on today, too.
NAKYIA: We both wearin vests!
MR. CUNNINGHAM: Yeah, I got the memo.
NAKYIA (to me): He said he got a limo!
_______________________________________________________________

(student comes into the building after school's out)
BLUNT: Where you goin?
student: I just...
BLUNT: Okay, you know what? Just...you know what- why don't you just take the rest of the night off.
(student sighs and walks out of the building)
KELLY: That was hilarious. "Take the rest of the night off"- I love it.
BLUNT: Yeah, I first said that to my manager when I was 19 working at the burger king. She was bothering me and I was just like "You know what? Just take the rest of the night off."
KELLY: What'd she say?
BLUNT: She went home.